25th Day of Hospitalization for PPROM

SATURDAY, MARCH 16th 2019

*Warning* Content contains blood and fluids...

So as I cuddled into bed last night around 10:30 after the nurse gave me some Tylenol and did a 2 minute heart rate test on baby, I was really hoping for a good night's sleep. During the 10:30 heart rate check the baby started at 175 when she is usually around 155, which probably meant she caught her having an acceleration but it didn't sit well with her so she came back at 11:30 to do a 20 minute heart rate test. I knew she just wanted to ease her mind and I knew it couldn't hurt to double check. I ended up being on for about 40 minutes because the baby moved quite a bit and she wanted to get 20 solid minutes of uninterrupted data, where the baby didn't drop off the monitor. Afterwards I was like okay, hopefully I don't get interrupted til 6 am when they come to get my blood draw. At about 3am I felt a surge of fluid leave me (it feels like thick warm pee when it exits) and so I hobbled into the bathroom. It was more than I expected and I left a river leading towards the bathroom and my legs were just completely covered in really red blood, more blood than I've had all this stay, since it is usually a mixture of blood and amniotic fluid which is more of a light pink color. I was shaking feverishly from the sight of all this blood, and I just never think I am going to get used to the sight of it. There were no towels or washcloths in the bathroom at the time so I pressed the bathroom help button which apparently sends an automatic code blue to the entire staff on the floor and I had 4 nurses run into my room and find me in the bathroom covered in blood just holding my soaking wet gown in my hands shaking. In a matter of a couple minutes they had the floors cleaned, the linens changed and me washed down in a new gown. They paged the resident on duty and they ordered another hour heart rate monitor test. The baby looked good but I was still losing blood consistently. They laid down these chuck pads underneath me on the bed and the resident came to tell me that I needed to call if there was another surge but that because the baby's heart rate was fine and I had no cramps, contractions or other pain they would just check on me more frequently into the morning. I managed to fall asleep another hour when the tech came into to get my temperature and blood pressure. Twice she did it while I was laying down and I told her both times that it slipped to my elbow and that both times it gave her a really low reading. She came back 10 minutes later and asked if she could try again, I sat up to get a more accurate reading for her and it happened again... just a huge surge of blood that spilled over the chuck pads and into the sheets and through my gown again. I didn't hold back anything- "fuck", "shit", "son of a bitch"(I think I scared the young tech)! The tech cleaned up the floors and linen again and I managed to clean myself up and change again before the nurse rushed in. This time the resident came back in to do a pelvic exam to check my cervix and look for any any indication of where the source of blood was coming from to make sure it wasn't coming from my cervix. My cervix was in tact and I confirmed I had no pain, cramps or contractions, just actively bleeding. She said they would continue to monitor me but that she saw no red flags, that the rupture was producing again and that they needed to monitor me consistently. I laid back down for a little but at 5 am they came to take bloodwork. I texted Joel and my sister for a bit about what happened over night and managed to sneak in another hour of sleep until the nurses changed shifts and they did another exam to feel my legs, stomach and listen to my breathing. I joked with my overnight nurse that I was just trying to keep her on her toes and that it was late for her to still be on shift when it should have ended a couple hours previously. She mentioned lots of babies were born over the night and that they took on the overflow from upstairs, she said she still had lots more charting to do, cause something like what I experienced she would have to chart every incident and measure the amount of blood loss etc. I decided to give up on going back to bed and ordered breakfast. When my breakfast arrived a woman announced she was there to take my blood and I was like, what? I just got it done, apparently they wanted even more data to compare results. My favorite high risk doctor was on again today, the one that listens and spends a lot of time explaining things to me and even joking around. She pretty much said the same thing again, that they want me to make the nurses aware of how much blood loss I was experiencing but the "good news" is that the blood is coming from me, not the small amount the baby actually has and that the uterus could pull half off the placenta and the baby would still be supplied with enough to continue to strive, that the placenta she compared as a frisbee only needed to be working at 20% capacity to sufficiently support the baby. She said that the blood probably indicted that the uterus continued to pull from the placenta causing the blood surge but that they do want to watch for blood pooling behind the placenta, but in that situation I would feel pain associated with this anomaly. She talked about how positive I still seemed after being here 25 days, but I said it was hard not to surrender to the idea when it meant milestones for the baby everyday and that I felt blessed to still be pregnant, nothing short of a miracle. The blood slowed down more and more all throughout the morning. Joel was going to visit with Sonja today but I felt too wiped out for it. My Mom called and asked why I didn't tell her what happened overnight but I told her I didn't want her to worry especially cause I was seeing how it all played out. The bloodwork showed my hemoglobin continue to decline and they encouraged me to order things like oatmeal or red meat (funny enough they don't have spinach or kale on the menu, something I was putting in my juices almost everyday at home). This afternoon I got up enough energy to take some laps around the floor but it was at a way slower pace than usual. The first time I passed a bank of windows I felt the sun on my skin and realized I haven't been outside for 25 days. It made me think I haven't been home for 25 days, haven't driven my car in 25 days, etc. The tech came in to do my vitals and she exclaimed all her friends were posting pictures from St. Patrick's Day celebrations while her and all the patients were stuck in an isolated hospital. Another nurse stopped in to check on me and she also exclaimed I seemed so optimistic, but how could I not be? After each day it seems like a small thing when it means so much for the future of your child. Two days ago my Aunt Colleen and Uncle Ken came to visit me. Transport returned me back to my room pretty late after my ultrasound and my Uncle wrote their names on my wipe board. It's been nice to get the opportunity to speak one on one with so many family members and friends. Hopefully tomorrow I will get to see Sonja, Joel and my parents. Tonight my sister is on stand by while she enjoys a bar crawl, I told her I was really doing her a favor since she now won't have a terrible hangover tomorrow at the end of the night. After last night it made me even more grateful for all the wonderful nurses I have had here (over 16 at least) they work long hours, are super detailed orientated, so caring and compassionate and especially capable in every aspect of their jobs. I always thought teachers were overworked and underpaid and my stay here at the hospital has showed me just another profession facing the same responsibilities without recognition.